The Perfect Christmas

I'm channeling Joel Salatin's dad again. Well, not literally. No dolphins or long deceased Egyptian princesses or anything like that. Just some good common sense: "Good enough is perfect."

Christmas is always a busier time of year for just about everyone. Lots of hustle and bustle and stuff to do. I pushed decorating back until the last minute because we decided to get a real tree this year. It was a combination of discovering that a neighbor down the road supplements his retirement by selling trees from his property and the fact that the attic so obscenely congested that the thought of digging it out and dragging it down the folding stairs easily tilted the scale in favor of supporting this retiree in his efforts toward maintaining the style to which he is accustomed. The Hobbits were enchanted, since they've only ever known this artificial tree that Tool Guy and I have hauled with us from pillar to post since the early days of our marriage. This year, they climbed a snowy hill with saw in hand, each took a turn gnawing at the trunk with it and then they hauled it back to the vehicle to trundle home. They're still talking about it.

The homeschooling Christmas program was another departure. Not one the Hobbits managed to distinguish themselves, which was quite singular. In the five years since we've been participating, at least one of them has managed to do something like jump off the stage and announce that he was the "champion!" or stalk the narrator or vie for control of the song book or lose her balance and fall of the platform or...or...or...well, you get the picture. They were all angels, even the angel. Bug managed to control his weaponry, both during the time he was the Roman soldier, wearing a sword and while he was a shepherd, wielding a cudgel. (What can I say? Party Planner, who also planned the program, is very ambitious...as well as brave!) And Dog actually sang along with his group. Pretty remarkable for someone who didn't get a passing grade the first quarter of music because he refused to sing. I'm thinking it was the audience that made the difference. Of course, it could also have been his rather pretty partner. Who knows? Hmmm. Now that I mentioned it, I'm going to have to think on this one...he's turning 11 this year, you know.

There were other differences this year that were less anticipated. I should have seen it coming. I really should have. That persistent cough. Princess' ear infection. That persistent cough that started getting worse. And I did all the stuff I was supposed to. Extra C. Extra D. Extra A. Extra Zinc. Sambucol. Raw garlic. The whole laundry list. And that persistent cough kept getting worse. And Tool Guy, too.

My parents come up to visit every year for Christmas and quite a few times in between. Despite our persistent coughs, they decided to stay and spend Christmas at least with us. Mom was great and organized the Hobbits in their decoration of the tree that had been cut the day before. I laid on the couch and coached the selection and watched. Tool Guy pitched in with cooking and there was a lot of stuff made up in advance. For Christmas dinner, Mom made her version of This Pampered Chef's pork roast.

Granny's Pork Roast

5 lbs. pork roast
1-2 cloves garlic
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 T olive oil
1 t sugar

Mince garlic and mix with salt and pepper. Cut slits into the roast and stuff seasoning mix into the slits. In a roasting pot, heat oil and sugar to bubbling, then carmelize the roast on all sides. In a 350* preheated oven, bake roast, covered, until internal temperature is 160*. Toward the end, uncover and allow to crisp for a few minutes. Add water to make gravy as desired.

Serve with rice or potatoes.

The day after Christmas, with that "persistent cough" Tool Guy came home with a diagnosis of pneumonia, which was the boot I needed to go and get my very own diagnosis of pneumonia. Kind of a demented keeping up with the Joneses, no? The Hobbits went in to get checked, but they only had colds and ear infections, nasty as that is. Phew! We urged the grandparents out the door as graciously as possible, hung out a sign saying, "Plague House" and I deliberated the additional measure of sticking an occasional arm out of a window to ring a bell and cry, "Unclean!"

Running a household is difficult when the movers and shakers are both out of commission. Having food brought in was out of the question. Oh, we did have some very generous friends offer. But even if people could provide us with gf meals, the hazard of being high reactors means that cross-contamination in others' kitchens would put us at high risk of reaction. We did, however, have many enthusiastic responses to requests for additional video material when we had exhausted our supply. As one friend put it, "Our videos, at least, are gluten free!" Heh. Just so.

When I couldn't go grocery shopping, I had a friend very scrupulously go to my select stores to get our food and bring it to us. Another friend came over and helped me prep out all of the foods for storage. And the co-op team worked flawlessly dealing with the co-op food delivery. All of these things provided us with the best Christmas we could have ever hoped for. Love. Support. Sustenance until we could pick up the threads of our responsibilities again.

Indeed. What more could one ask for? It was the perfect Christmas.

This Pampered Chef

Some weeks you get the bear and some weeks the bear gets you. It was one of those weeks. I had plenty of fodder for meditation while mowing, except the mower is in the shop. There'll be plenty to mow when it gets back, so I'll have ample supply to meditate on all of the things that happened during this bearish week.

Mostly the stuff going wrong was inside of me. One of the dynamics that has developed in me during all of these food issues is a need for things to stay put after I have a solution worked out. After I've found a source, a vendor, a supplier, a food, a product, I need them to STAY PUT. Every time a label changes, I get cold sweats, because that usually heralds an ingredient change. We lost Applegate Hotdogs to corn-based lactic acid starter culture in just this way. I try to remind myself that I have to remain flexible. After all, that's how we found The Buffalo Guys buffalo hotdogs that are even better.

I had to disassemble the stove again. It wasn't my fault this time. Truly. Well, it might have been an artifact from the boil over, but at least it wasn't any fresh stupidity on my part. My blow torch burner began to lose its power and it took me rather a while to realize what was going on. When the flame was a tiny puff of blue instead of a two inch tongue, I caught a clue. Sleuthing around under the cover, I learned that the gas comes out of little jets underneath. After scrubbing around the jet, I discovered that the hole in the jet was clogged. A quick session with a straightened paper clip and Bob's your uncle! I can't tell you how heartening this is, especially since I've got a week's worth of daily frying fries coming up and was exceedingly discouraged by the stove's failing performance. The doctor says that my sling will come off by then, as well.....all that back patting, you know....

Lots of other upheavals inside, too, which are typical of a woman my age, as well as seeming to follow the Hobbits down this path of food intolerances myself. This means bye-bye to my favorite foods. Isn't this always the way it works? Feh.

Tool Guy has been a real trooper through all of this. Neck rubs and sympathetic hugs. Meals that I don't have to cook. Tool Guy, being internet handy, started surfing and found some absolutely divine recipes that he can cook without having me hover in the kitchen. After I got over the idea of having my space invaded (that being flexible thing again), I found that this can get addictive. After he made this recipe, all of the Hobbits and I agreed that it needs to be in our weekly repertoire.

Cajun Pork Roast

3 T paprika
2 t dried crushed oregano
1/2 t cayenne pepper
1/2 t ground pepper
1/4 t ground nutmeg
1 T garlic powder
2 t dried crushed thyme
1/2 t salt
1/2 t ground cumin
2 lb. boneless pork loin roast

Preheat oven to 350* or as Tool Guy did it on the grill with a temp running between 350*-400*ish.

Combine paprika, garlic powder, oregano, thyme, cayenne pepper, salt, white pepper, cumin and nutmeg in a small bowl; rub over all sides of roast. Place roast in shallow baking pan or, as Tool Guy did, wrap in foil, seal and place on grill.

In the oven, bake for 1 hour or until no longer pink in center and internal temperature of 155*-160* is reached, or as Tool Guy did, for 20-30 minutes.

Slice and serve.

He serves this with a side dish of mashed sweet potatoes, garlic, and ghee, which is truly delicious. Especially when I don't have to make it. The hobbits have unilaterally announced that they prefer this rendered with Potato Buds instead of sweet potatoes. I told you they're Philistines. I've tried my hand at it once, but the Hobbits have caucused and agreed that this wasn't my dish and informed me that I needed to leave it to the expert. Oh. Well. Punish me.